Damn this hurts.....

OK my bad...i have been slacking on posting some stuff but i just have not been it the mood to be writing or doing anything. Ever since my uncle died last week things have just been really down. i miss him a lot. It was hard seeing him in a casket. i hated being there...everybody around me was just crying and sobbing....made me think of when my grandmother died. It took everything once of power i had in my body to hold back the tears. i miss hearing all the stories he used to tell me. some were sad and some were funny. i still cant believe that your gone. Yea i put on a happy face and don't show anybody how I'm feeling bout this shit hurts....i didn't realize how close i was to him till he was gone. i was i had knew more about him. i can think back to how he used to play with me when i was lil. he was the only one who would stay there and keep me company.no matter how old i was he talked to me like i was an adult. he never held back again and always spoke his mind. he couldn't go 5 words without one of them being shit or ass lol. he was soooo smart. i knew so much because he traveled when was in the army. he stood up for his family no matter how much the fought...and they did fight a lot. he was such a Strong man. the last time i saw him was when he was in the hospital. laying in that bed with he looked so tired, his hands big as a grapefruit because he was retaining so much fluid. that happens when your kidneys are fucked up. even in the hospital, at his worse, he never stopped being him....cracking jokes and watching old westerns. i don't have a lot of male influences in my life but i did look up to him...he was always a real man. i could go to him for advice about anything. i just cant believe he is gone...i wish that i could of told him thank you for all you have done for me before he died. Im gon mis you uncle ANTHONY. May you rest in peace.

ANTHONY KINNIE

3/10/44-11/30/08

R.I.P.